||September 25th, 2008|
Hordes of vicious vikings announce plans to invade Vista.
Grown men seen weeping,
Comes now some very sensitive intelligence type information that I’m trusting you to keep secret. We, in North San Diego County, are about to be invaded.
The Paper has an extensive intelligence gathering network. Spies spread all over the entire planet. One of our top spies has reported that there is a large Viking armada (two ships - for Vikings, that’s large) planning an invasion for this weekend. Primary target: Vista, California. Secondary target: The Sons of Norway Hall, located at 2006 East Vista Way, Vista. (You can’t miss it. It’s located right next to the Vistafjord. Not to be confused with North County Ford, which is also located in Vista).
Local Scandanavians, being Scandanavians, are just likely to resist the invasion by the expedient of declaring this Saturday and Sunday as a Festival.
All indications are that around 2,000 folks will appear at such a festival. The festival, should be scheduled for Saturday and Sunday, September 27th & 28th. (Memo to Invading Vikings: If you could kindly schedule your invasion for these two dates it would help a great deal in conducting a successful festival. And for Pete’s sake, kindly also invade only from 11am to 8pm on Saturday and 11am to 4pm on Sunday. It’ll work better for the festival. Trust us.)
The Viking Reception and Invasion Avoidance Committee has determined that music soothes the savage beast. Accordingly, in an attempt to dissuade the invading Vikings from lopping off heads of innocent Vista Villagers, some of whom might even be bona fide Scandinavians, the Committee has arranged for music throughout the weekend to entertain with Scottish and Irish music on both days.
To ensure we can placate the Invading Vikings, however, we shall have food and drink during this Viking Festival. Yes, of course, they’ll have lefse! Whoever heard of a Viking Festival without lefse?
Besides lefse, we’ll expect to feed the Invading Vikings such delicacies as Swedish Meatballs (a real crowd pleaser!), Pølse, (a weiner in a bun. Over here, we call ‘em hot dogs), Fish Cakes, Norwegian Cookies, Scandinavian Baked Goods and so much more! The beer garden will feature local microbrews and Viking mead.
Note to beautiful women: If you want to be kidnapped, get there around 11am on Saturday or Sunday morning. Look pretty. And be nice. An angry Viking ain’t worth messin’ with. Taak. (Thanks).
Recent images of Viking Ships sailing from the Pacific Ocean up the Majestic Vista River and planning entry via the mighty Vistafjord.
This is what the Vicious Viking
Invaders might look like.