Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/find.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 215

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/find.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 216

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 216

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 217

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/subscribe.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 220

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/subscribe.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 221

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 221

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 222

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/contact.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 225

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/contact.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 226

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 226

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 227

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/archive.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 230

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/archive.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 231

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 231

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 232

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/r.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 235

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/r.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 236

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 236

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 237

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/dem.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 240

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/dem.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 241

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 241

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/getdata.php on line 242

Warning: include(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/top1.php) [function.include]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/special.php on line 57

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening '/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/top1.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/special.php on line 57
Cover Story
Special Feature
Daily Chuckle
Local News
Social Butterfly
Commentary
Letters to the Editor
Editorial
Professional Advice
.....The Computer
.....Buzz
.....In The Money
Pet of the Week
Featured Merchants
The Senator Reports
Service Directory
Classifieds
Where to find
The Paper
How to Subscribe
Archive
Marketing/MediaKit
Contact Us
Search the site

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special Feature September 25th, 2008

INVASION!
Hordes of vicious vikings announce plans to invade Vista.
Grown men seen weeping, women applauding.

Comes now some very sensitive intelligence type information that I’m trusting you to keep secret. We, in North San Diego County, are about to be invaded.

The Paper has an extensive intelligence gathering network. Spies spread all over the entire planet. One of our top spies has reported that there is a large Viking armada (two ships - for Vikings, that’s large) planning an invasion for this weekend. Primary target: Vista, California. Secondary target: The Sons of Norway Hall, located at 2006 East Vista Way, Vista. (You can’t miss it. It’s located right next to the Vistafjord. Not to be confused with North County Ford, which is also located in Vista).

Local Scandanavians, being Scandanavians, are just likely to resist the invasion by the expedient of declaring this Saturday and Sunday as a Festival.

All indications are that around 2,000 folks will appear at such a festival. The festival, should be scheduled for Saturday and Sunday, September 27th & 28th. (Memo to Invading Vikings: If you could kindly schedule your invasion for these two dates it would help a great deal in conducting a successful festival. And for Pete’s sake, kindly also invade only from 11am to 8pm on Saturday and 11am to 4pm on Sunday. It’ll work better for the festival. Trust us.)

The Viking Reception and Invasion Avoidance Committee has determined that music soothes the savage beast. Accordingly, in an attempt to dissuade the invading Vikings from lopping off heads of innocent Vista Villagers, some of whom might even be bona fide Scandinavians, the Committee has arranged for music throughout the weekend to entertain with Scottish and Irish music on both days.

To ensure we can placate the Invading Vikings, however, we shall have food and drink during this Viking Festival. Yes, of course, they’ll have lefse! Whoever heard of a Viking Festival without lefse? Besides lefse, we’ll expect to feed the Invading Vikings such delicacies as Swedish Meatballs (a real crowd pleaser!), Pølse, (a weiner in a bun. Over here, we call ‘em hot dogs), Fish Cakes, Norwegian Cookies, Scandinavian Baked Goods and so much more! The beer garden will feature local microbrews and Viking mead.

Note to beautiful women: If you want to be kidnapped, get there around 11am on Saturday or Sunday morning. Look pretty. And be nice. An angry Viking ain’t worth messin’ with. Taak. (Thanks).

photo
Recent images of Viking Ships sailing from the Pacific Ocean up the Majestic Vista River and planning entry via the mighty Vistafjord.
photo
This is what the Vicious Viking
Invaders might look like.

 

 

 

 

 


Warning: include(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/longad.php) [function.include]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/special.php on line 203

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening '/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/longad.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in /home/content/20/4006920/html/archive/2008/09_25/special.php on line 203