Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/find.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 71

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/find.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 72

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 72

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 73

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/contact.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 76

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/contact.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 77

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 77

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 78

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/archive.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 81

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/archive.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 82

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 82

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 83

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/r.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 86

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/r.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 87

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 87

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 88

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/dem.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 91

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/dem.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 92

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 92

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 93

Warning: fopen(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/dis.htm) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 96

Warning: filesize() [function.filesize]: stat failed for /home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/dis.htm in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 97

Warning: fread(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 97

Warning: fclose(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/getdata.php on line 98

Warning: include(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/top1.php) [function.include]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/kaufman.php on line 29

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening '/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/top1.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/kaufman.php on line 29
Cover Story
Special Feature
Daily Chuckle
Local News
Social Butterfly
Kaufman’s Korner
Professional Advice
.....Your Body Can
..... Heal Itself!
.....Reverse Mortgages
.....The Computer
.....Buzz
Featured Merchants
Advertisers/Classifieds
Where to find
The Paper
Archive
Marketing/Media Kit
Contact Us

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Kaufman’s Korner March 23, 2006


Howard Kaufman
 

Cheese He’s Tough

 

Cheese He’s Tough!

 

In Switzerland where cheese is made

Rules are firm and strict.

Cheese makers must adhere to them

Or this they can predict:

They’ll incur the wrath of the Swiss cheese czar

Who’ll howl like an angry sailor,

The Government’s man won’t tolerate

Mediocre Emmentaler

Or gruyere rounds sans holes (called eyes)

Or squishables like Bries.

Cheese men don’t choose to irritate

The Swiss Commander-In-Cheese!

 

 

An Ear for an Eye

 

One thing we’ve learned since the middle east war

That millions of us didn’t know before,

It came to many as culture shock

To learn that eye-rack is really ear-rock.

 

 

 

 


Warning: include(/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/longad.php) [function.include]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/kaufman.php on line 111

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening '/home/content/t/h/e/thepaper/html/marketing/longad.php' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/local/php5/lib/php') in /home/content/20/4006920/html/2006/03_23_06/kaufman.php on line 111