Two guys draw up to traffic lights, one
in a Mini and the other in a Rolls Royce. The guy in the Mini winds down his
electric windows; not to be outdone the Rolls driver winds his down in reply.
The Mini driver then presses a button
to unwind his sun-roof, again the Rolls driver does
Next, the Mini driver presses a button
which causes a double bed to appear in the back of his car! The Rolls driver is
amazed and watches in disbelief as the Mini drives off from the green light.
Immediately, the Rolls driver goes round to his local garage
and asks for the insto-bed to be fitted to his car.
The mechanic tells him it will be very expensive. The Rolls driver insists it
is fitted and does not care about the cost.
A few weeks later he collects his car with the insto-bed fitted. He spends hours driving around looking
for the Mini. Eventually, he finds it parked in a lay-by. It's
windows are all steamed up and the car is rocking.
The Rolls pulls up slowly, and he knocks on the window.
After a short pause the Mini drivers' head pops out.
"What?" says the Mini driver.
"Watch this!" says the Rolls driver. He then
depresses the button and smirks proudly as a double bed appears ...to which the
Mini driver retorts, "You got me out of the shower to show me that!?"
George and Laura Bush and Bill and Hilary Clinton are
traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station George and Laura each buy
a ticket and watch as Bill and Hilary buy just one ticket. "How are the
two of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks George W, astonished
at what he is seeing.
"Watch and learn," answers Hilary. They all board
the train. George and Laura take their respective seats but Bill and Hilary
cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has
departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the
toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack
and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and
The Bushes see this happen and agree it was quite a clever
idea, so after the game they decide to try a similar plan on the return trip.
When they get to the station they see the Clinton's at the window buying a single ticket for the return trip.
To their astonishment, the Clinton's see that the Bushes don't buy any ticket at all.
"Aren't you taking a terrible chance by traveling without a ticket?"
says Hilary. "Live and learn," answers Laura Bush.
When they board the train the Bushes cram themselves into a
toilet and the Clinton's cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after
the train leaves the station, George W. leaves their toilet and walks over to
the Clinton's toilet, knocks on their door and says, "Ticket,
And you're still trying to figure out how the Democrats lost
At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing
whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man,
scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don't know about that," answered a woman guest.
"I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady.
"When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it