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Daily Chuckle March 9, 2006

This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff
you can tell at parties.  Enjoy!


Two guys draw up to traffic lights, one in a Mini and the other in a Rolls Royce

Two guys draw up to traffic lights, one in a Mini and the other in a Rolls Royce. The guy in the Mini winds down his electric windows; not to be outdone the Rolls driver winds his down in reply.


The Mini driver then presses a button to unwind his sun-roof, again the Rolls driver does the same.


Next, the Mini driver presses a button which causes a double bed to appear in the back of his car! The Rolls driver is amazed and watches in disbelief as the Mini drives off from the green light.

Immediately, the Rolls driver goes round to his local garage and asks for the insto-bed to be fitted to his car. The mechanic tells him it will be very expensive. The Rolls driver insists it is fitted and does not care about the cost.


A few weeks later he collects his car with the insto-bed fitted. He spends hours driving around looking for the Mini. Eventually, he finds it parked in a lay-by. It's windows are all steamed up and the car is rocking.


The Rolls pulls up slowly, and he knocks on the window. After a short pause the Mini drivers' head pops out.


"What?" says the Mini driver.


"Watch this!" says the Rolls driver. He then depresses the button and smirks proudly as a double bed appears which the Mini driver retorts, "You got me out of the shower to show me that!?"




George and Laura Bush and Bill and Hilary Clinton are traveling by train to the Super Bowl. At the station George and Laura each buy a ticket and watch as Bill and Hilary buy just one ticket. "How are the two of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks George W, astonished at what he is seeing.


"Watch and learn," answers Hilary. They all board the train. George and Laura take their respective seats but Bill and Hilary cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.


The Bushes see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea, so after the game they decide to try a similar plan on the return trip. When they get to the station they see the Clinton's at the window buying a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Clinton's see that the Bushes don't buy any ticket at all. "Aren't you taking a terrible chance by traveling without a ticket?" says Hilary. "Live and learn," answers Laura Bush.

When they board the train the Bushes cram themselves into a toilet and the Clinton's cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train leaves the station, George W. leaves their toilet and walks over to the Clinton's toilet, knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."


And you're still trying to figure out how the Democrats lost that election.


Women and Secrets


At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."


"I don't know about that," answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."


"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.


"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."





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