Knock Knock . . .
Control Freak. Now
you say 'Control Freak who?'
The only way to
pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment
was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on
all the neighborhood activities.
He began his
commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed .
. . "An ambulance just drove
A few moments
later, "Looks like the Anderson's have
company," he called out.
riding a new bike....." A few moments later, 'Looks like the Sanders are
"Jason is on
his skate board . . ." A few more moments, "The Coopers are having
and Dad shot up in bed!
asked, "How do you know they are having sex?"
is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."
From the late Henny Youngman:
1. Two times a
week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and
companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I
go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep
in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my gal
pal everywhere . . . but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my gal
pal where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been
in a long time!" he said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold
hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an
electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said
"There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!"
.. So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My gal pal told
me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I
asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
8. She got
a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran
after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
Remember: a relationship is the number one cause of fighting.
11. I am
living with Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
haven't spoken to my gal pal in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
last fight was my fault though. My gal pal asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"