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Daily Chuckle January 12, 2006


This week, a compendium of wit, wisdom and neat stuff
you can tell at parties.  Enjoy!

 

Knock Knock

Knock Knock . . .

 

Knock Knock

 

Who's There?

 

Control Freak. Now you say 'Control Freak who?'

 

Observation Deck

 

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

 

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed . . .  "An ambulance just drove by."

 

A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.

 

"Matt's riding a new bike....." A few moments later, 'Looks like the Sanders are moving."

 

"Jason is on his skate board . . ." A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!"

 

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed!

 

Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they are having sex?"

 

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

 

From the late Henny Youngman:

 

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.  She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

 

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

 

3. I take my gal pal everywhere . . . but she keeps finding her way back.

 

4. I asked my gal pal where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" he said. So I suggested the kitchen.

 

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

 

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

 

7. My gal pal told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

 

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.  Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

 

10. Remember: a relationship is the number one cause of fighting.

 

11. I am living with Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

 

12. I haven't spoken to my gal pal in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

 

13. The last fight was my fault though. My gal pal asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

 

 

 

 

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